Rating: 3.5 out of a possible 5
Like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Doctor Who, Transformers is immortal. Since 1984, when the Autobots and Decepticons (formerly the Micromen and Diaclones in Japan) first premiered in North America, the Robots in Disguise have lived on through cartoons, comic books, fanzines, fan-sites, toy lines, toy line relaunches, and basic love for the entire franchise. And now it has truly come to a head with Michael Bay's/Steven Spielberg's "Transformers 3".
I'm not going to blast or mock this film, like so many critics have; I already did that when I saw it. The point is, you cannot judge "Tr3" as a movie. You can only judge it as an incredibly violent, two-and-a-half hour volley of nonsensical carnage, awesome CGI, and giant robots beating the living tar out of each other. That's why I'm saying "Dark of the Moon" is good: it's completely entertaining, and we also get some brand-new scenes of incredible special effects.
As usual, the plot is very complicated, even for someone who is well-versed in Transformers mythology. In this one, we learn that the REAL reason JFK sent three men to the moon in 1969 was to investigate a giant alien spacecraft, the Autobot ship the Ark, before the Russians got to it. Years later, a shunned Sam Witwicky and his super-hot girlfriend Carly get entangled with the Autobots again, this time helping them to keep the parts for a space bridge (a transdimensional portal) out of the Decepticons' slimy hands, as well as deal with a certain very important Autobot, Sentinel Prime, who was on the Ark. All this leads to an HOUR-LONG battle in a Decepticon-ruled Chicago to stop them from bringing Cybertron to Earth. While the Autobot ranks stay pretty much the same, the Decepticons get an awesome new addition: Shockwave, the single baddest Con we have ever seen (the guy's entire right arm is a laser cannon!). What dissapointed me though was that Shock recieves no lines, that and the fact that Patrick Dempsey does NOT die at the hands of a Decep. I was really looking forward to that.
The first Transformers is still the best, but this one stands out amongst the past two in a completely unexpected way: it's dark. Not "Dark Knight" dark, but still gutsy enough to show scenes with people getting blown apart by invading Decepticons. Perhaps Michael Bay did this on his own, but I suspect Steven had a big say. The Chicago scenes of science-fictional genocide, as well as a killing by firing squad for a Jewish-looking Autobot, Wheeljack, bring to mind similar scenes from "Schindler's List". Also, a scene where Sam and Carly hide from a Decepticon is vaguely like "Jurassic Park", mostly the famous scenes with the Velociraptors. Whether Steven took command a little more or not, I have to give due credit to Michael for the action scenes. I have never seen better sequences of robot-on-robot pounding in my entire life, and it brings pure child-like happiness to my heart. Even better, these Transformers are voiced by Nerd Gods. It is strangely funny and awesome to hear Hugo Weaving start fighting Leonard Nimoy.
All in all, Transformers 3 is exactly what it should be: an adrenaline high of senseless violence. That does not make it a lousy film, but rather, it makes it some kind of a masterpiece of unadulterated, unabashed action cinema. It is not without heart though, and that is what makes it superior to "Revenge of the Fallen", and every other average blow-em-up film. Thankfully, we have been given an incredibly satisfying ending to the Transformers live-action films, just as long as you are not picky.
